28 October 2004

Some Very Real Possibilities

According to a recent article, the Bush administration now claims that the Russians and/or French spirited away the weapons from the Al Qa Qaa depot prior to the invasion. This is really quite a claim, if you think about it. The weapons were reportedly secured by the UN prior to the invasion, so now we are to believe that a team of Russians slipped into the country and carried away tons of explosives in order to . . . uhmmm . . . provide a story years later during Bush's re-election. Those Russians and French might wander around half drunk on wine and vodka with their nose up in the air, but ya gotta watch-em. They're a sneaky lot. Just when you think you got them under control, they run over and steal explosives from Third-World dictators when we aren't watching (OUR VERY OWN THIRD WORLD DICTATORS--BOUGHT AND PAID FOR!). That's why we need a tough man in the White House. He won't allow such monkey-business, or at least, he'll stomp his feet and curse if it does happen.

Of course, these wild claims about the Russian and French Axis of Dastardly White Folk are not put forth with complete confidence. We are merely told that Saddam's complicity in this Russian bomb-stealing scenario is a "very real possibility." This is an interesting way to hedge one's statement. Of course, millions of things are conceivably within the realm of possibility--an expression that covers a pretty large swath of ground. Semantically speaking, the Bush administration must be praised for its creativity. How can something that is possible be described as "very real"?

Perhaps we need to all adopt the new semantics. It is, I suppose, a "very real possibility" that Bush will keel over tomorrow from an overdoes of mismunched pretzels. And if this happens, it's a "very real possibility" that many of us will go visit his grave and do a little jig before we collectively spit on it. And it's a "very real possibility" that the American people will wake up from their patriotic stupor some day and realize they've been following a con-man the last 4 years.

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