18 November 2008

Voting and eternal destiny

It looks like we'll be joined by a band of unrepentant South Carolinian Obama-luvin' Catholics in a few decades when we arrive at Hell's gates. Father Jay Scott Newman of St. Mary’s Catholic Church recently told those among his flock who flocked to the polls to vote for Obama:

Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation.

Personally, I'm not so sure there'll be room down in hell as quite a few of us already are headed there according to the experts in such matters. With all the overcrowding, maybe they'll choose a few of us to undergo reincarnation. According to Father Newman's spokesman, all those who did house to house canvassing for Obama will be sent to the crotch-cutting hell.



Ouch! That's gotta hurt!

6 comments:

wunelle said...

Well, that sounds like a perfectly rational reason to reject the whole morbid communion business and all the rest of the "spiritual" mumbo-jumbo that sits at the wellspring of our species' hatred and clannishness.

Problem solved!

Martin Langeland said...

Why Wait?
Some folks think we've made a real hell right here already.
--ml

Karlo said...

Buddhists say that the same river is a hell river or paradise depending on what's happening in the mind. Of course, there's the occasional Zen Master who sees mountains as mountains and rivers as rivers.

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Well, communion always seemed a little canabalistic to me anyway. Some people worry far too much about things that don't matter.

ddjango said...

Wa'all shi-ut, Karlo. Yawl evah bin t'a gud ole Ka-lahna pig-pickin? It's sorta lak the pitchu up thar - then they add the vinegah. Ooooooooo - weeeeeee!!

Jes' gotta luv them ole Cat-licks. Sorta lak Baptists who akshully think.

Comrade Kevin said...

I always liked the cat o' nine tails for my hellfire and brimstone visualization.