I've got only two things to say to all the hoppin' mad McCainites that need a remedy for what's ailin' and palin' them. They need to make themselves a thought-screen helmet (if it works against advanced aliens, it should be able to stop the Shrubian thought-control ray in its tracks). They should also promptly buy a Guardian machine and an aqua-chi footbath (recommended by no other than their arch-conservative friend Alan Stang):
This is the place to find information about the remarkable frequency technology—including pictures of the frequency instruments—I write about in Electronic Medicine, along with the testimony of people who report what it has done for them. There are before and after pictures of Cindy, the horse who had a tumor so big it blinded one eye. Cindy had no medical treatment but used the Guardian and soon returned to normal. There is a discussion of the Aqua-Chi footbath, which we recommend, because many people say it has helped them detoxify.
There you've got it, straight from the horse's mouth.