16 July 2007

Appealing to Joe-Five-Pack

In an early attempt to appeal to the Joe-5-pack crowd (those red-blooded 'mericans who never saw a war they didn't like) the Democratic front-runners are trying their best to sound bellicose. Obama now says that:

America must urgently begin deploying from Iraq and take the fight more effectively to the enemy's home by destroying al-Qaida's leadership along the Afghan-Pakistan border.

Al Qaeda was initially formed with backing by the CIA beginning with Carter, and about the only reason anyone anywhere remembers the group is that Shrub has spent his entire two presidencies assuring the world that Osama has all the resources, power, and charisma of Beezlebub himself. And now we're supposed to leave Iraq and turn our attention to the Afghan border?

Obama! Afghan doesn't have oil. No one cares about it. You need to go back and take Geopolitics 101. If the U.S. sends its entire army chasing after one feeble Saudi rich-kid and fails to find him, we're going to make this guy into a hero for decades. Twenty years from now, they'll be selling Osama t-shirts on the LA beach front and writing movies about his daring escapades. Forget about appealing to Joe-5-pack. Joe won't vote for you anyway.

4 comments:

Evil Spock said...

Maybe if he promised a keg in every garage, and a six-shooter in every pot, Obama would get his message across to Joe.

Afghanistan actually has an over-abundance of natural gas to tap. Plus their geographical location makes it important to transport oil and natural gas from Central Asia.

So we can steal from the Persians! Lets get Osama!

Karlo said...

Iran also has natural gas. And their president is the anti-christ. Of course, we could attack them both as part of Surge III.

Evil Spock said...

Wait, I thought I was the anti-christ?

Karlo said...

You are the anti-christ with a capital "A". The Iranian president is the mini-anti-christ. I realize this is complicated--kind of like the evil shrubling Bush who is actually controlled by Cheney who is actually controlled by Rove who is actually controlled by the trilateral commission (which is controlled by Shrub's father). Evil works in mysterious ways. All us normal folks can do is tape up our windows and wait for the inevitable to happen.