The Shrub mis-administration is going to put comedians out of business with their constant stream of malaproprisms and misplaced priapisms. It is within this general spirit of jollity and mirth that we read the latest report from the Pentagon panel:
Reuters: A Pentagon panel has outlined three basic options for improving the situation in Iraq -- pull out, send more U.S. troops or reduce the size of the force but stay longer.
Wait a minute! Wait just a doggone second! I think they left out option number four! We could increase the number of troops but stay shorter. Or we could increase the number then decrease the number, then increase them again. Or vise versa.
Who pays these guys to come up with this stuff? When taxpayers fork over millions of dollars and ask you to figure out what "the options" are, you aren't supposed to come back and say: "We can do X; not do X; or sort of do X." WE KNOW THAT ALREADY! If only my boss were so lenient.
My Boss: "Can you spend the next two months analyzing the Wilson account and then get back to us with some options?"
Me: "Sure. No problem. Give me a couple million of bucks, some plane tickets, some extra cash for backrubs in Bangkok on the way back, and I can take care of it for you."
Me: (Two months later with a dark tan and cirrhosis of the liver) "Well, after many long hard nights pondering the problem in darkly lit nightclubs, I've concluded that basically we've got three options. We can take the account, not take the account, or kind of ambiguously decide to not make up our minds."
Boss: "Gee willikers! We'll have to put you up for a raise, Karlo! We've never seen anyone elucidate the options so well. Other employees have always returned with a narrow range of options that demonstrate closed-mindedness and tunnel-vision, but you, with your outstanding perspicacity and vision, have provided us with a short summary of the entire gamut of possibility! Have you ever considered going into politics?"