18 July 2006

Looking on the Bright Side

Since I've been accused from time to time of dwelling on the negative, I figured I'd look at the cup as half full today and talk about some positive political developments in 2006:

First, 2006 is turning out to be a great year for business if you're an Iraqi morgue operator:

Editor & Publisher: In case you are just back from a long weekend without your laptop: The central morgue in Baghdad said Tuesday that it had received 1,595 bodies last month, 16% more than in May and nearly double the total of the same period last year. The New York Times reports Wednesday that Baghdad "has slowly descended into a low-grade civil war in some neighborhoods, with Sunni and Shiite militias carrying out systematic sectarian killings that clear whole city blocks." Even upper-class areas are now getting hit.

In addition to the booming funeral business, those of you who supply Israel with advanced weaponry can expect a raise this year:

WaPo: In Lebanon, Israeli raids again struck the Beirut-Damascus highway, along with gas stations, factories and a small fishing port. Smoke from fires arced over the Beirut sky. News agencies quoted the military and police as saying that more than 210 people had been killed since the attacks began Wednesday. The Health Ministry put the number at 182 dead and 525 wounded, almost all of them civilians, but said that count included only those identified by hospital officials.

Even some of those in the heart-land of the fatherland can order some caviar with that steak, if you're a wealthy rancher:

WaPo: ... money came from the U.S. Department of Agriculture as part of the Livestock Compensation Program, originally intended as a limited helping hand for dairy farmers and ranchers hurt by drought. Hurriedly drafted by the Bush administration in 2002 and expanded by Congress the following year, the relief plan rapidly became an expensive part of the government's sprawling system of entitlements for farmers, which topped $25 billion last year. In all, the Livestock Compensation Program cost taxpayers $1.2 billion during its two years of existence, 2002 and 2003. Of that, $635 million went to ranchers and dairy farmers in areas where there was moderate drought or none at all, according to an analysis of government records by The Washington Post. None of the ranchers were required to prove they suffered an actual loss. The government simply sent each of them a check based on the number of cattle they owned.

It's also a good year for psychics able to locate lost items:

Lies.com: According to its inspector general, the Defense Department can't account for $1 trillion in spending. The Army can't find 56 airplanes and 32 tanks. But not just that: we're still finding misplaced chemical munitions in America from WORLD WAR I. In fact, some were discovered in a fancy Washington, D.C. subdivision in 1993.

Last but not least, it's been a great year for writers working in the genre of historical fiction:

Think Progress: (quoting Gringrich): We’re in the early stages of what I would describe as the third World War and, frankly, our bureaucracy’s not responding fast enough and we don’t have the right attitude.

So to all of you lefty naysaying ninnies; look on the bright side for once. And if you don't like your present job, change careers--become a weapon's supplier, CEO, or a historical revisionist. Otherwise, just keep your mouth shut!

3 comments:

CyberKitten said...

Karlo said: Since I've been accused from time to time of dwelling on the negative..

Same thing happens to me all the time. Go figure...!

Dark Loud said...

Does this imply that 'reality' is intrinsically negative?

Praguetwin said...

Great compilation.

Can you say "gross mismanagement." Even the smart Republicans can see that.