3 August 2005

Putting religious science back into schools

The libruls have been giving Supreme Commander Shrub a bad time for lending support to , but I think we need to step back for a moment and look at this objectively with eyes untainted by centuries of scientific brainwash. America does indeed have a long tradition of religious belief and this should certainly form the backbone of our culture. So why shouldn't we allow this tradition to be taught in school? All this talk of evolution, fossil records, gravity, and so on--it's all just "theories" after all. And at any rate, we should probably support the president because uh because he's the president. So I propose that we incorporate traditional accounts of creation into our K-12 curriculum. I hereby decree that from this day forward, all students shall be taught that:

Long ago, before there were any people, the world cover with water.The earth was a great island floating upon the seas, suspended by four rawhide ropes representing the four sacred directions. There were no people at this time, but the animals lived in a home above the rainbow. Needing space, they sent Water Beetle to look for room under the seas. Water Beetle dove deep and brought up mud, which spread quickly, turning into land that was flat but too soft and wet for the animals to live on. Grandfather Buzzard was sent to see if the land had hardened. When he flew over the earth, he found the mud had become solid; he flapped his wings, coming in for a closer look. The wind from his wings created mountains and valley, and that is why the Cherokee territory has so many mountains today. As the earth stiffened, the animals came down from the rainbow. It was still dark and they needed light, so they pulled the sun out from behind the rainbow. But it was too bright and hot, so the shamans were told to place the sun higher in the sky. A path was made for it to travel--from east to west--so that all inhabitants could share in the light. People were created last. The women were able to have babies every seven days. They reproduced so quickly that the Creator feared the world would soon become too crowded. So after that the women could have only one child per year, and it has been that way ever since.



    We will now have science tests where we ask our children questions like:

  • How many rawhide ropes suspended the world?
  • Was it Water Beetle or Grandfather Buzzard who looked for land under the sea? (Hint: Buzzards can't swim.)
  • Did animals originally live on land or in rainbows?

10 comments:

Swerve Right said...

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Anonymous said...

good post... thanks.

Kim
my articles: financial articles

Karlo said...

Spammers. Didn't these people read the story of their Russian comrade getting wacked in the head with a baseball bat?

Glen Dean said...

Karlo you can drop something and watch it fall to the ground and know that there is gravity. As for evolution (the evolving part), you can see that young people today are much taller than their parents and know that people are constantly evolving. It is pretty hard to find any real data that proves how the earth was created though. Also, nobody is saying that the theory of evolution is not to be taught in schools. All the President said was that this should also be allowed to be taught too.

I think that everyone who wants to send their child to the school of their choice should get a refund from their state's taxes for the purpose of doing that. That way you big government lovers can indoctrinate your own children the way you want to and people like me can send my kids to the schools that I want to. As it is now, your guys take my money and spend it on your schools and then tell me what my child can and can not learn. And since you take such a big percentage of my money, I can't afford to send my kids to a different school.

Sky Niangua said...

Karlos, thanks for sharing Cherokee creationism. This is what my grandpa believed. My grandma was osage and believed we descended from the stars. I believe both. Teaching 'creationism'in schools is fine with me but 'ONLY' if all stories are taught not just Christian Mythos. A great disservice is done to America citizens and their children when only One-Way is taught thus disrespecting all other peoples beliefs in this country. That is Equal Rights to me.
Thanks Karlos.

Karlo said...

Your argument against government schooling is strong and something I need to think about. As for there being a great gap in amounts of proof for gravity or the formation of the Earth, I think you're wrong. My feeling is that instead of denying science only in those cases when it contradicts one's faith, people should do one of two things: either get a new faith or just go whole hog and deny science (and cause and effect along with it).

Thanks for the comments Sky. This is what's great about the internet--It's great to get thoughtful feedback on my posts, whether the feedback's positive or negative.

Jodi said...

I love this post. So, my version. My maternal grandparents were Southern Baptists from rural Mississippi. When I was a little kid, they visited us in Washington, DC. They found it hilarious to visit the Museum of National History--this evolution business was just so silly! So, they took a picture of me in front of one of the pre-humans as a joke: this was my ancestor (I looked like a monkey) not anyone else's!

thanks for the great post!

Glen Dean said...

I just don't see it as denying science, although some really extremists would likely want to do that. I just see it acknowledging a different belief. There are many theories out there, big bang, meteor, etc. This is just one more.

Terry said...

The universe is a big place. I'm sure there's room for more than one Truth.

Karlo said...

"There are many theories out there, big bang, meteor, etc. This is just one more."

This is just the point. Creationism isn't another "theory," it's a belief accepted on the basis of revelation. Scientists can get together and debate on the merits of a particular theory and while they may not agree, they completely agree on the ground rules: any theory must provide an explanation that explains observed facts in a rigorous manner. To claim that something is true because of what you believe is, according to scientists at least, putting the cart before the horse. Evidence informs theory and not vice versa.