31 October 2004

Amnesiagra's New Bluer Pill



I was formerly quite upset over the hypocrisy of U.S. foreign policy. In particular, I was troubled by the mismatched between my long-term memories of U.S. complicity with Iraq and Saddam Hussein and the accounts of Bush's glorious war against Saddam's evil empire. U.S. complicity is well-documented. For example, Richard Sale, the UPI Intelligence Correspondent, recounted, after numerous interviews with the officials involved, the CIA's assistance to Saddam Hussein and others in their attempted 1959 assassination of Iraqi PM Qasim, as well as financial support and training provided to Saddam while he was in Beirut. It's likely that the U.S. was also behind the coup that killed Qasim in 1963. The CIA then supplied the Iraqi National Guard with lists of suspected communists to be rounded up and killed. The CIA also delivered intelligence to Saddam after Iraq attacked Iran and provided direct military support by blinding Iranian radar (in legal terms, an act of war) in February 1988 in the Al-Fao peninsula. The U.S. also provided the weaponry that Saddam later used against the Kurds.

So in short, the U.S.: (1) supported Saddam's rise to power; (2) supported his large scale massacre of innocent civilians, (3) supported his war of aggression against a neighboring country; and (4) supported his ethnic cleansing campaign.

I found all of this highly upsetting until I discovered Amnesiagra, the new little blue pill, subsidized by the new Bush health plan, that is designed to get rid of all those troublesome long-term historical memories. For months now, I've been religiously taking my daily Amnesiagra dose. And it worked well. Until recently . . .

You see recently, in spite of this new wonder drug, I've been troubled by the incongruity of my short-term memories. You see, just a few days back I listened wide-eyed to Deputy Undersecretary for Defense John Shaw explain that there was intelligence that the French were involved in the removal of the explosives from the al-Qaqaa depot before the war began last year and that some Russian units on the eve of hostilities were running around collecting munitions to haul them to Syria. This made perfect sense to me as something those shifty-eyed French and Russians would do. But then I heard of a video purportedly showing U.S. troops at the site with what appeared to be IEAE seals on the doors of the bunker! Kay, the former chief weapons inspector said on CNN: "The seal was broken [by U.S. troops] and, quite frankly, to me the most frightening thing is not only is the seal broken and the lock broken, but the soldiers left after opening it up." The video has evidently been verified. The Pentagon later cleared up the mess by explaining that the U.S. troops had actually taken the weapons away and destroyed them. Of course, with my short-term memory still intact, I found these stories most confusing, and I was troubling by the question: Where were the Pentagon people when the Bush administration was blaming the disappearance of the weapons on the Russians! This is, needless to say, all very very upsetting stuff.

This was until yesterday. I went to my doctor and asked him if I could try to new Ultra-strength Amnesiagra, designed to get rid of even those pesky short-term memories. This deep blue pill has worked wonders for me. After a single dose, I can now see that that it was U.S. troops who took away the weapons. And the U.S. has, I'm sure, always been opposed to Saddam, has always stood up against political murders of innocent civilians, unprovoked attacks, ethnic cleansing and the like. In fact, now that I've taken my medication, the entire Republican platform makes much more sense to me. So I would like to advise all my former wimpy liberal friends on the Progressive Blog Alliance:

Vote for Bush!


And Try the new Ultra-strength Amnesiagra!

2 comments:

Thivai Abhor said...

Huh? Did you say something... sorry my society trained me to only be able to handle sound-bite ideologies.

Karlo said...

Pop a few more blue pills, have a swig of beer, wave a flag, then forget about it. (;